I want to build a cave in my heart and hide there for a while.

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Looking for the drain in the ole’ cespool…

I paused my movie entitled “My Blueberry Pie” to release some of the one liners (specifically one) that have been floating through my head this week.
Why do we try SO hard to get other people to show up for us (this could look like ‘wanting them to take care of us’) when we refuse to [...]

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And I keep coming back to Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s question:
“But can you be with the way things are right now without having to change them?”
And I know this is the work, the question, the absolute die hard issue that I need to face. What is the payoff I receive from constantly moving my external chess [...]

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Out of my head and into my body

In the past 24 hours I have felt as if my heart is going to BURST out of my chest. I’m seriously OOZING with all this love, openness, and gooey feelings. All i want to do is embrace, hug, and gush about how much I love everyone.
I’m totally sober. I swear.
I feel like someone unplugged [...]

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A word on “ego”

I’m curious if I am able to furnish a blog in under 10 minutes. Here’s my best effort.
Today, I had this image of my ego. She is a crazy wacked out bus driver who forgot to take her medication and makes her decisions purely based on moment to moment impulses. If a thought arises that [...]

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Untitled for now

I can’t believe i’m about to tell you this….
but
I just finished watching….(shhhhh)
“Confessions of a Shopaholic”
My inention was pure, I swear. I INTENDED to light candles and study sequencing but somehow at Harris Teeter, my card magically swiped itself in the Redbox machine and out popped this INCREDIBLY cheesy Hollywood movie that temporarily removed me from [...]

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I haven’t lost my mind, but I’m trying.

Before I get to studying, I thought I would blog about the crazies in my head.
One would think that after a 12 hour day of yoga, meditation, and self inquiry…I would be blissed out, not freaking out.
One thinks wrong.
I came home to fruit flies swarming my apartment and a leak I could hear but not [...]

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“We can help each other wake up” – Sark

Walking on the tightrope of her dreams, she unloads all unnecessary baggage that threatens to throw her off course.
The baggage does not discard easily, as attachments from years of association with them have kept her comfortably stuck.
The years of molding into others lives, shrinking her needs so they were microscopic organisms only detectable using high [...]

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I escaped into the bathroom at work and slid down the wall as tears bubbled out and over my eyelids.
Here we go again. I wonder how long this wave will last, I thought.
The undercurrent of feelings was extremely intense and I felt fully charged, as if I had just stuck my finger in an electrical [...]

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Both sides of my brain were shut down when I wrote this

I was sitting on my couch tonight thinking about driving. How effortless it has become (so much so that I got a speeding ticket…yet again), how I don’t consciously get in my car and think
“well shit, now what do I do?”
I just do it.
This was not always the case.
I distinclty remember pulling out of the [...]

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